There was a time when I used to sit in silence and just… exist.
The kind of silence that made the days feel longer than they were and I’d wish more than anything that I had something productive to do but instead I was faced with absolutely nothing on my agenda.
Back then, boredom wasn’t just a moment it was hours on end but, I don’t think I ever truly appreciated it.
Today, my boredom doesn’t come in stillness it comes in overstimulation.
The countless web tabs, the background noise, the scrolling, the ping, the contsant pressure to be doing something useful, or at the very least, entertaining.
If I have a second of downtime, my brain reaches for a distraction like it’s a reflex.
When did we decide we had to fill every moment?
I don’t know if it’s just adulthood, or the easy accesabilty of my phone, or maybe even the sneaky anxiety that creeps in when I’m not being productive.
It’s like I always need something happening, even if that’s music in my ears even for a 5 minuite walk or glancing at my phone waiting for a reply.
Even at night I am met with my thoughts of plans for the next day or deadlines looming closer or even thinking about my finances for the next year.
I’ve realised that I no longer let myself just be bored. And I think I need to start again.
Because boredom isn’t lazy. It’s space. Space to daydream. To think. To breathe. To notice the world.
Some of my best ideas, my weirdest thoughts, my most important self-reflections have come in the split moments of nothinglness.
So I’m going to reclaim it. Try sitting with no podcast. Leaving the TV off while I cook. Staring out the bus window instead of into my phone. I’m sure it will be uncomfortable at first, but then, something opens up.
If you’re always consuming, you never get a chance to create. Or to just be.
I miss boredom. And I’m starting to believe that we all do. We just forgot what it felt like.
Maybe we should all try being bored?
